Nick Baumann

"It seems like a no-brainer that the long-planned Dulles Airport Metro line should include a stop at Dulles Airport, but to one key decision-maker, that remains an open question."

"Would it be a better world if for twenty years someone had held a patent on a Using Mirrors To Allow Drivers To See Behind Them Without Turning Their Head? I say, no."

"Now she’s all screaming “Sexual Harassment!” And dude in HR is all like, “This is a serious issue, Mr. Coates.” And and I’m all like, “Bros Before Hos!” And they’re all like, “Hostile Work Environment.” And I’m all like, “Awesome Work Environment!” And my editors are all like, “Fireable Offense.” And I’m all like, “Men get harassed, too!” She tells me “Nice suit” and it’s fine. I tell her “Nice rack” and everyone gets all law-suity."

"Elizabeth Warren had more donors from Massachusetts than Scott Brown had donors, period."

"I’d like to briefly address the complete moron in the Red Sox organization who insinuated to a reporter that Terry Francona had a problem with prescription pills. Dear Moron, Congratulations! You have just (a) attacked the best and most popular manager your team has ever had while (b) displaying a complete lack of institutional loyalty, which (c) pretty much guarantees that no one in his right mind will want to manage your team now, and (d) turned everyone against each other causing (e) massive paranoia which will undoubtedly lead to (f) a thousand more stories about how dysfunctional your organization is, which will only intensify the ill effects of (b,c,d,e). You are the worst person in the world. Quit."

"Guess what? Thanks to Reuters, “Soros is secretly responsible for Occupy Wall Street” will become an official right-wing “fact” about the movement, forever."

"What a bunch of morons."

"Regardless, anything is an upgrade from Condé Nast’s previous system, which required the tech team to be heavily involved in almost any Web publishing. The CQ5 system will let editors publish independently of that team, a function the staff at most other digital publications have had for a decade."